We finally decided that we've had enuff of the old maid (pardon the pun) and got rid of her on Monday.
The scheduled "Operation Maid Swap" was on Wednesday (today) but over the weekend, we found out that she had been telling my mum that Terelle's ill-mannered and always being rude to her and as parents, we've never corrected nor disciplined her.
Wow....that was certainly the last straw....it sure felt like dragging all ten of your fingers across the chalk board...
Early Monday morning, Li-Anne suggested we give her her "final task" -> which was to clear out my ENTIRE storeroom and wipe it clean (including all the shelfs) from top to bottom.
When she was done, Li-Anne calmly told her to pack up all her things because the agent will be picking her up at 2pm and she was going home for good.
No comment from her. Just a calm nod. (and did I detect a slight hint of a smile?)
Just to be sure that she understood what we told her, I repeated it to her again after 5 mins -> that she was going home for good and not coming back. (I told her I did not process her home leave)
Still no comment from her. Just a calm ok.
We concluded that she never had the intention of coming back to Singapore. She basically wanted to "break her contract" and go home. All those excuses about having family issues, having no money to pay for her return trip etc...
She was all packed in 15 mins....she then went across the hallway to our neighbour's house, chatted excitedly with the maid there, giggled happilly and soon was hugging each other...it was like a scene from a chinese prison movie...after doing time for 30 long years..all the suffering and pain...she was finally free to go home...
That was my cue.....i could feel it.....it was like i could see myself turning into "THE INCREDIBLE BULK" !!!!
It started like this...."Mxxx, did you know that you are contracted to us for 2 years.....
The rest is too vulgar to put down here in words .....nah i'm kidding :)....but I sure had a good time letting her rip....at one point, Li-Anne was thinking I was about to send something flying across the room...
Our new maid arrived today, her name is R -> we took little Thane with us down to the agency and brought her home. Terelle was at the zoo with my in-laws and Yoongi...we needed some time to go buy her a toy -> it was going to be R's "hello" gift to Terelle, a little trick which Li-Anne picked up from some book. It worked like a charm...Terelle's so "in-to" her right now, I was relegated to the role of substitute over dinner time..."I want Auntie to push my stroller"
Why you little.....did you know that Daddy was the one who bought you the....ahahaha nevermind...Daddy still loves you :)
Just before bedtime, Li-Anne and I were marvelling at how smoothly things had turned out today with R...way better than what we've expected...even better than the first time my "old maid" arrived in our home (we had thought that that was good..but this is even better)
Even though this is only day 1....we concluded that maybe, just maybe, it was meant to turn out this way....
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
Happy Birthday to me...Part II
We finally made it out for Part II of my birthday celebrations, nothing fanciful but at least some quality family time.
The past two weeks has seen our house turned upside down from all the packing; there's dust everywhere, boxes in every corner of the house...there's hardly any space to sit and take a breather without being caught in a cloud of dust...
The past two weeks has seen our house turned upside down from all the packing; there's dust everywhere, boxes in every corner of the house...there's hardly any space to sit and take a breather without being caught in a cloud of dust...
Oh and did I mention that my living room TV has died and gone to TV Heaven? And to think I was hoping he'd hang in there till I move to my new place but alas, it was not to be....which also means that staying at home now is even more unbearable because you're sitting in a cloud of dust and have no TV for distraction.
Anyway, I decided to bring the kids to this quaint little ice cream joint called UDDERS after dinner. I picked it up from HungryGoWhere.com...it's a really cool website. The ice-cream shop is located at the side of GOLDHILL CENTRE along Thomson Road.
Anyway, I decided to bring the kids to this quaint little ice cream joint called UDDERS after dinner. I picked it up from HungryGoWhere.com...it's a really cool website. The ice-cream shop is located at the side of GOLDHILL CENTRE along Thomson Road.
They've got some really good flavors going -> gotta give it to them for their creativity and actually making the ice cream taste really good! (at least for the 3 flavors which we had tonight)Some of the flavors were really out-of-this-world! It was truely a case of "spoilt for choice".
In true Dugong-style, I jumped straight into my favorite -> MAOSHANWANG DURIAN FLAVOR! We decided to pick another one, on top of the Strawberry Flavor which Terelle had been pestering us for since we left the house 3 hours ago. We selected the GILA MELAKA Flavor (a pun on the famous Malaysian brown sugar) which had Atap Chee bits embedded inside.
The ice cream was truely amazing, I would DEFINITELY recommend this place.
Anyway, we got some really nice birthday pictures taken with Thane this time round.
Happy Birthday to moi....another year older, feels a little wiser but still trying very hard to lose my spare tire -> or at least not add to it....
Terelle's already focusing on the ice cream...and not on the camera..
Terelle in Seventh Heaven....
Do we REALLY look alike?
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Dugong is Humbled.....
Seems like all my postings these days are about unhappy incidences...but then again, I can't really claim that to be true since this is only my 2nd real post after a year...
We've had our current maid or "home-helper" since Thane was born....so that's about 10 months now... (don't wanna get flamed for using the wrong terminology but to simplify my blogging from this point forth, I shall use the word - maid)
She's been really good help till today and especially with taking care of my baby boy. In terms of chores and work around the house, if you gauge against my "Dugong High Standards", she's maybe a 7/10, which is really more than anyone can ask for in a hired-hand.
Between Li-Anne and I, we've ALWAYS taken pride in how we treat our maid. We've wanted, from day one, to treat her as part of our family, we've always made it a point to tell our children that we're lucky that "Auntie" chooses to stay with us, we made it a point to teach our kids to respect her, say their P's & Q's, we included her in everything even down to the jelly soya-bean drinks which we buy 3times a week, we even made sure she had her meals on time and that she had her extra portion of rice because we know she's a carbo maniac.
Here's the clincher -> LiAnne and I would take turns at night (and still do) to tend to Thane when he wakes (2-3times a night) just so that our maid get's uninterrupted 8 hours of sleep. Only on the rarest of occasions when we're both totally worn out by our baby boy, will we wake her to help out and even so, I would make it a point to tell her to wake a little later in the morning to compensate for the waking hours.
Why humbling you ask?
Because of our firm believe (and we actually tell people this) that if we all treat our maids like the way WE DO, things will turn out alright, and you won't have all those maid issues which we frequently hear and read about. We sometimes judge others for how they treat their maids and I'm not even talking about maid abusers -> i'm just talking about deviations from how we treat our maid.
Its funny how things turn out sometimes and how God uses these little things to teach you a lesson....just when you THINK you've got it all figured out and you're all proud about it, you find you've got it all Wrong somehow...
We just recently found out that our maid has been "bad mouthing" us to our parents in our absence.....it seems like she thinks she's now an indispensable piece of our family. We're apparently "lazy" and needs her help in everything...
We also found out that she's plotting to go on "home leave" in December, just to avoid having to help us pack and move to our new home. On the pretext that she has urgent personal issues at home to settle, she's requested for home leave (right smack in the middle of our move) and wants to only return in mid-January.
And the finishing move!! -> she says she's got no money to pay for her return ticket and embassy fees (for processing home leave) and that if we do not sponsor her, she will not return back to Singapore.
Can you believe she had the audacity to say that?
Is she entitled to home leave after 11months on the job? NO!
Am I obliged to sponsor her return trip home only after one year on the job? NO!
Does she have the right to say she does not want to return to Singapore? NO!
She's ON 2-YRS CONTRACT for crying out loud!! But does anyone care??
How are employers protected from something like this?
Sure I can say no and forbid her to leave the country but do I really want to keep an unhappy maid in the house, at the expense of my children's well-being and safety?
Well, we made a snap decision to get rid of her...she's gone in 3 days..she ain't a keeper...that's for sure...
I guess the worst part of this entire drama is that Terelle and Thane has gotten so used to having her in the house and they really treat her as part of our family. Her name is always mentioned together with "family" and we're terribly, terribly dissapointed at how things have turned out.
We managed to interview and secure a replacement maid on short notice..this will be our 3rd maid -> I must already be on the grey-list in MOM for BAD EMPLOYERS.
We've had our current maid or "home-helper" since Thane was born....so that's about 10 months now... (don't wanna get flamed for using the wrong terminology but to simplify my blogging from this point forth, I shall use the word - maid)
She's been really good help till today and especially with taking care of my baby boy. In terms of chores and work around the house, if you gauge against my "Dugong High Standards", she's maybe a 7/10, which is really more than anyone can ask for in a hired-hand.
Between Li-Anne and I, we've ALWAYS taken pride in how we treat our maid. We've wanted, from day one, to treat her as part of our family, we've always made it a point to tell our children that we're lucky that "Auntie" chooses to stay with us, we made it a point to teach our kids to respect her, say their P's & Q's, we included her in everything even down to the jelly soya-bean drinks which we buy 3times a week, we even made sure she had her meals on time and that she had her extra portion of rice because we know she's a carbo maniac.
Here's the clincher -> LiAnne and I would take turns at night (and still do) to tend to Thane when he wakes (2-3times a night) just so that our maid get's uninterrupted 8 hours of sleep. Only on the rarest of occasions when we're both totally worn out by our baby boy, will we wake her to help out and even so, I would make it a point to tell her to wake a little later in the morning to compensate for the waking hours.
Why humbling you ask?
Because of our firm believe (and we actually tell people this) that if we all treat our maids like the way WE DO, things will turn out alright, and you won't have all those maid issues which we frequently hear and read about. We sometimes judge others for how they treat their maids and I'm not even talking about maid abusers -> i'm just talking about deviations from how we treat our maid.
Its funny how things turn out sometimes and how God uses these little things to teach you a lesson....just when you THINK you've got it all figured out and you're all proud about it, you find you've got it all Wrong somehow...
We just recently found out that our maid has been "bad mouthing" us to our parents in our absence.....it seems like she thinks she's now an indispensable piece of our family. We're apparently "lazy" and needs her help in everything...
We also found out that she's plotting to go on "home leave" in December, just to avoid having to help us pack and move to our new home. On the pretext that she has urgent personal issues at home to settle, she's requested for home leave (right smack in the middle of our move) and wants to only return in mid-January.
And the finishing move!! -> she says she's got no money to pay for her return ticket and embassy fees (for processing home leave) and that if we do not sponsor her, she will not return back to Singapore.
Can you believe she had the audacity to say that?
Is she entitled to home leave after 11months on the job? NO!
Am I obliged to sponsor her return trip home only after one year on the job? NO!
Does she have the right to say she does not want to return to Singapore? NO!
She's ON 2-YRS CONTRACT for crying out loud!! But does anyone care??
How are employers protected from something like this?
Sure I can say no and forbid her to leave the country but do I really want to keep an unhappy maid in the house, at the expense of my children's well-being and safety?
Well, we made a snap decision to get rid of her...she's gone in 3 days..she ain't a keeper...that's for sure...
I guess the worst part of this entire drama is that Terelle and Thane has gotten so used to having her in the house and they really treat her as part of our family. Her name is always mentioned together with "family" and we're terribly, terribly dissapointed at how things have turned out.
We managed to interview and secure a replacement maid on short notice..this will be our 3rd maid -> I must already be on the grey-list in MOM for BAD EMPLOYERS.
Anyway, I just wanna say that I'm truely humbled.... does this mean it was wrong for us to be nice to our maid? HELL NO....of course not.
But there is no absolute right nor wrong, I guess at the end of the day, we do what our conscience tells us is right...but all of us are never in a position to judge someone else just because they are doing something different....
Hmmm...maybe this time round with this new maid, I shall pretend I'm some big ear-hole debt collector or something...don't mess around with this SIR!!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Happy Birthday to me....
What's so happy about my 32nd birthday anyway?
No...I'm not going through a mid-life crisis...neither does this have anything to do with the financial crisis or that I'm hearing there's going to be some serious retrenchment in the coming months in my company...
In fact, I'm clearly thrilled to the bone that our impending move to our new place is but several weeks away. I'll write more about this in my next post but this one's about my birthday.
Somehow, it took me quite a while to realise that life really sucks when you're trying to gain the acceptance of someone...the person in question here is my dad. Not to mention tiring, emotionally sapping and a total drain on the soul.
I mean...it's like growing up in his likeness...being taught the values and ways of the world thru his "bible" and then when you're old enough to decide and think for yourself, almost everything you do seems to come into question and punctuated with a look of disapproval or disdain.
I'm tired...very tired....for crying out loud...i'm 32 this year...have a lovely wife and two kids....a stable job....
I'm sure I've gotta be doing something right...
I'm tired...really tired....
My mum thinks it's because he loves me and I'll always be that little boy in his eyes....sure...
For once...I'd really like to hear him say that he's proud of me....
Primary School - coming up tops in class at PSLE after having to assimmilate into the S'pore education system in mid Primary 5
Secondary School - ace-ing my 'O' levels when he thought I was spending too much time playing computer games
Junior College - ace-ing my 'A' levels after practically flunking my prelims 2 months before the 'A's" and having hormonal-surges, leading to multiple girlfrens at any one time...
NUS - getting hired into GE 4 months before I even graduated and when I was 90% hostelite and 10% student for the entire 4 years of my undergraduate life (and I'm still here after 7 years...)
HELL YEAH I like to do things my way.....I may not be the exact conformist you want me to be but I deliver....EVERYTIME...
I'm done trying to make him proud of me....maybe he is proud but then again maybe someone needs to take him through a course called "Parenting in the 21st century"
As I watched Terelle dance across the living room yesterday, I said a silent prayer...that never, ever will I subject my children to what I have had to live with all these years...God help me...
I love my kids...I will tell them that....I'm proud of my kids....I will tell them that....
My birthday yesterday ended with a nice Durian cake, but most importantly, it's with the people I love and who care about how I feel inside.
RB : Thank You for showing me that my 32nd birthday is not so bad after all.
Thane baby : I'm sorry we didn't include you in this picture...you were sleeping so soundly, we didn't want to turn you into a Grouch by waking you....Daddy promise we'll go take a picture today with a nice big birthday icecream and you'll definitely be in that one.
No...I'm not going through a mid-life crisis...neither does this have anything to do with the financial crisis or that I'm hearing there's going to be some serious retrenchment in the coming months in my company...
In fact, I'm clearly thrilled to the bone that our impending move to our new place is but several weeks away. I'll write more about this in my next post but this one's about my birthday.
Somehow, it took me quite a while to realise that life really sucks when you're trying to gain the acceptance of someone...the person in question here is my dad. Not to mention tiring, emotionally sapping and a total drain on the soul.
I mean...it's like growing up in his likeness...being taught the values and ways of the world thru his "bible" and then when you're old enough to decide and think for yourself, almost everything you do seems to come into question and punctuated with a look of disapproval or disdain.
I'm tired...very tired....for crying out loud...i'm 32 this year...have a lovely wife and two kids....a stable job....
I'm sure I've gotta be doing something right...
I'm tired...really tired....
My mum thinks it's because he loves me and I'll always be that little boy in his eyes....sure...
For once...I'd really like to hear him say that he's proud of me....
Primary School - coming up tops in class at PSLE after having to assimmilate into the S'pore education system in mid Primary 5
Secondary School - ace-ing my 'O' levels when he thought I was spending too much time playing computer games
Junior College - ace-ing my 'A' levels after practically flunking my prelims 2 months before the 'A's" and having hormonal-surges, leading to multiple girlfrens at any one time...
NUS - getting hired into GE 4 months before I even graduated and when I was 90% hostelite and 10% student for the entire 4 years of my undergraduate life (and I'm still here after 7 years...)
HELL YEAH I like to do things my way.....I may not be the exact conformist you want me to be but I deliver....EVERYTIME...
I'm done trying to make him proud of me....maybe he is proud but then again maybe someone needs to take him through a course called "Parenting in the 21st century"
As I watched Terelle dance across the living room yesterday, I said a silent prayer...that never, ever will I subject my children to what I have had to live with all these years...God help me...
I love my kids...I will tell them that....I'm proud of my kids....I will tell them that....
My birthday yesterday ended with a nice Durian cake, but most importantly, it's with the people I love and who care about how I feel inside.
RB : Thank You for showing me that my 32nd birthday is not so bad after all.
Thane baby : I'm sorry we didn't include you in this picture...you were sleeping so soundly, we didn't want to turn you into a Grouch by waking you....Daddy promise we'll go take a picture today with a nice big birthday icecream and you'll definitely be in that one.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
IT'S A BIRD, IT'S A PLANE....IT'S just me, returning to moi blog...
Yup....that's the truth...i'm back after 15 months...
Lots of things have happened....I'll give a short summary soon...stay tuned boys and girls !!
Oh by the way....for those of you looking for me, I'm in the LAND OF MELAMINE this week.
No wonder that cuppa of latte tasted weird this morning..
Lots of things have happened....I'll give a short summary soon...stay tuned boys and girls !!
Oh by the way....for those of you looking for me, I'm in the LAND OF MELAMINE this week.
No wonder that cuppa of latte tasted weird this morning..
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